i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
