if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
