Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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