Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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