he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
ok first of all what the fuck
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
