i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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