dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
