Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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