one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
