Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
only you would photoshop your dick
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
