He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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