If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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