She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
