i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
