All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
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We just shotgunned beers for America
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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