why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
