Midget sex pt 2 tonight
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
