Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
