i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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