She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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