Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
