I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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