help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
