Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
operation harelip BJ is a go
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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