If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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