I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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