You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You are a genius and a whore.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
