do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
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ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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