yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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