im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
There r osticjed everywhere
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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