Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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