He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
