idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
