You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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