I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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