It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
