It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize
