ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
