it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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