Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
