Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
So vagazzling was a success
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
