It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
