Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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