I skipped work to stalk him.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize