What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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