She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
