One girl and one boy is just not enough.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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