is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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