It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
