What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Randomize
