things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
