she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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