If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
