ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
