I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
