Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
