I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
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Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
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Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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