i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i think i have two assholes
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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