Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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