I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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