please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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